I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize