so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
