I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
