Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
