I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
