In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
her vagine was all disorganized.
I have demons in me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
