My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I deserve this hangover.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
