Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
