does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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