just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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