Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
