i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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