i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
