At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
