So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
