so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Randomize
