they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
