you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
