She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
