i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
