Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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