did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
