I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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