I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
