Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
