This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
