no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize