That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
