Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize