This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
