How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
