I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
