I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
