when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
