it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
