I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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