You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
vagina is talking i cant
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize