i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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