Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
