So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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