Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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