I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
