so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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