The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
