I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
