i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize