I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
