He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
