the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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