Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
