Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Still dying that you shit outside
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
