She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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