Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
