On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize