I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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