As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's get the cat blown out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
