i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
