i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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