Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
