i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
