I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
