you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
