We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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