so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
its liver damage thursday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize