I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
