it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's never too late to be topless.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
