So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
