Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
